You Matter To Me
Updated: Sep 23
I don't know who you are, and I don't know what you believe. We may see the world very differently and disagree about things that are important to both of us.
But I'm curious about you. I want to know what you've experienced and how it has shaped the way you see the world. I want to understand what you care about, what you're worried about, what you're trying to protect, and what you wish more people understood about you.
I want to know what you believe and why. Not because I expect us to agree, but because your beliefs are connected to a life I haven't lived. I want to know more about that life and the person behind it.
We can learn from each other
I've always been genuinely curious about people. I like hearing people's stories and trying to understand why they see things differently than I do. Sometimes that curiosity gets harder when the differences are bigger. But those are also the times when I have the most to learn about how someone else sees the world.
For me, the point of asking questions is truly to understand. I'm not asking because I expect to change your mind. Of course, there are times when I hope someone might hear my perspective and think about something differently. But changing someone's mind isn't how I want to measure the value of a conversation.
I believe there is almost always something I can learn from another person. You've seen and experienced things I haven't. You know things I don't know. Your perspective has been shaped by a life different from mine, and I believe there is value in that difference.
Understanding your perspective gives me a bigger picture of the world. And by sharing my perspective, maybe I can give you something you didn't have before. That’s what makes a conversation valuable to me.
Disagreement doesn’t have to divide us
Valuing someone as a person doesn't mean I have to value every idea they hold. We can challenge ideas, oppose actions, and draw boundaries when we need to. We can believe something another person has said or done caused real harm.
But disagreement and contempt aren't the same thing. Contempt doesn't just say, I think you're wrong. It says, You are not worth my time. People like you are stupid. People like you are evil. The world would be better if people like you would just go away.
Once we reach that point, there isn't much left to build together. But it doesn’t have to be that way. I can take your ideas seriously without agreeing with them. I can challenge what you believe without reducing you to that belief. I can see you as a whole person, and you can do the same for me. That gives us somewhere to go besides further apart.
We all have something to contribute
Understanding each other is part of it. But I also believe people want to know that they have something worthwhile to contribute. There is a difference between being told that you're welcome and knowing that you're appreciated for the value you bring.
Maybe you're great at fixing things or bringing people together. Maybe you're the person who always shows up when someone needs help. You might know how to teach, build, organize, grow, care for people, solve problems, or create something beautiful. Your life may have taught you something the rest of us need to understand.
I don’t think we create the best world by only working with people who all see things the same. We share this world with people who are different from us, and I think we make something better when more people have the opportunity to bring their experiences, perspectives, and gifts. That's a different kind of belonging to me. It's not just there's room for you here. It's you're part of this.
What can we make together?
These ideas are at the heart of my project, The World We Make. I'm interested in how we find our way across real differences without pretending those differences don't matter. I want to hear people's stories, especially those I might otherwise misunderstand, and practice curiosity when contempt would be easier.
But I also want to explore what happens after we understand each other a little better. I want to look for common ground between us, even when we disagree about important things, and find ways to make a better world together. I don't expect any of this to make our differences disappear, and that's not the goal. My goal is to find ways to live with those differences without losing sight of each other. You matter to me. Your story matters. You have gifts to offer, and so do I.
Together, we're shaping the world around us every day through the choices we make and the way we treat each other. The question this project asks is: what kind of world do we want to make?
Next: Understanding Isn't Agreement
Trying to understand someone doesn't mean agreeing with them. We can listen with genuine curiosity while still being honest about what we believe, where we disagree, and where we need to draw a line.
